To my fellow God abiding people of Earth,
Take a deep breath with me…..inhale 1…2…3… (hold) 1….2….3….. exhale 1…2…3.
There are 3 hurricanes in the Atlantic right now. WW3, 4, and 5 will be starting this month (September 2017) as well. Obviously armageddon is upon us all!
Let’s take a moment to reflect on what the olden day prophets wrote about. In the well known ancient scripture-“Thyne Dumpster Giveth”- it can be observed that a certain verse has absolutely 0 relevance to the present day…….UNTIL TODAY THAT IS! As my fingers run along the dry, partially burnt and flaked off pages of “Thyne Dumpster Giveth”, I turn to pg. 32 to tell you a story that you cannot deny- unless you want to deny the coming Armageddon of 2017. Hailing from the year 12 A.D. the verse reads:
“There shall be smoke.. there shall be pain… there shall be destruction at the ‘Stuff-Ur-Face-With-Trash’ drive-thru. A wind, most fierce, will whippith through the streets. Chicken nuggets of steel will rain down and smashith the people. Crinkly garbage shalt cover the streets, before a fire lights the drive-thru.”
Again as it states in the scripture: “A FIRE LIGHTS THE DRIVE-THRU”. This is a serious situation we all face, and is not a joke. Chicken nuggets of steel will drill everyone in the head, and a ferocious fire will consume the Stuff-Ur-Face-With-Trash drive-thru. We will all probably die, and there’s nothing we can do.
There’s only one way we can stop the armageddon prophecy from coming true: Join my program, “Destroy The Earth With Prayer”, for a reasonable price of $1 trillion; I’m sure ALL OF YOU have a 401K these days- so drain it. Just email me the money through PayPal. My email is Thisisascam69@youmightbeshot.org
The prophets knew what was coming in the year 2017, and people tried to doubt it. But I know that you’re better than that, you’re incredibly intelligent and know that the day of reckoning is upon us. Our lord and savior- “Bobbles Da Clown”- is here to save you ONCE AGAIN…….as soon as he witnesses the transfer of $1 trillion into my PayPal account. Currently, he is sitting on a mountain somewhere in Greenland, observing your moves with a smile on his face. Bobbles Da Clown knows you are smart enough to donate the money.
Make the right move! Givith your life to save the Earth!
Your favorite fella,