MUST READ!! THE DAY OF RECKONING IS UPON US ALL!!

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To my fellow God abiding people of Earth,

 

Take a deep breath with me…..inhale 1…2…3… (hold) 1….2….3….. exhale 1…2…3.

There are 3 hurricanes in the Atlantic right now. WW3, 4, and 5 will be starting this month (September 2017) as well. Obviously armageddon is upon us all!

Let’s take a moment to reflect on what the olden day prophets wrote about. In the well known ancient scripture-“Thyne Dumpster Giveth”- it can be observed that a certain verse has absolutely 0 relevance to the present day…….UNTIL TODAY THAT IS! As my fingers run along the dry, partially burnt and flaked off pages of “Thyne Dumpster Giveth”, I turn to pg. 32 to tell you a story that you cannot deny- unless you want to deny the coming Armageddon of 2017. Hailing from the year 12 A.D. the verse reads:

“There shall be smoke.. there shall be pain… there shall be destruction at the ‘Stuff-Ur-Face-With-Trash’ drive-thru. A wind, most fierce, will whippith through the streets. Chicken nuggets of steel will rain down and smashith the people. Crinkly garbage shalt cover the streets, before a fire lights the drive-thru.”

Again as it states in the scripture: “A FIRE LIGHTS THE DRIVE-THRU”. This is a serious situation we all face, and is not a joke. Chicken nuggets of steel will drill everyone in the head, and a ferocious fire will consume the Stuff-Ur-Face-With-Trash drive-thru. We will all probably die, and there’s nothing we can do.

There’s only one way we can stop the armageddon prophecy from coming true: Join my program, “Destroy The Earth With Prayer”, for a reasonable price of $1 trillion; I’m sure ALL OF YOU have a 401K these days- so drain it. Just email me the money through PayPal. My email is Thisisascam69@youmightbeshot.org

The prophets knew what was coming in the year 2017, and people tried to doubt it. But I know that you’re better than that, you’re incredibly intelligent and know that the day of reckoning is upon us. Our lord and savior- “Bobbles Da Clown”- is here to save you ONCE AGAIN…….as soon as he witnesses the transfer of $1 trillion into my PayPal account. Currently, he is sitting on a mountain somewhere in Greenland, observing your moves with a smile on his face. Bobbles Da Clown knows you are smart enough to donate the money.

Make the right move! Givith your life to save the Earth!

Your favorite fella,

Lew Ting

 

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Written by dankwritingblog

Daniel Klein is a 26 year old, New Jersey based writer/comedian. He spent all 26 years of his life living in New Jersey. He's a laid back, funny, kind, open minded, and swell guy who makes you think about subjects in a truthful and humorous way, while feeling good. He loves the chance for entertaining, sharing, teaching and establishing positive relationships with his viewers!

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